


As the Tide Rolls In

by Stariceling



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-16
Updated: 2004-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spending a private moment with Quatre, Heero finds himself having to deal with his affections.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As the Tide Rolls In

**Author's Note:**

> This was a piece of a larger fic that will most likely never see the light of day. I’ve edited it up so that it should make sense on it’s own.  
> Finally I’m writing something that takes place during the series. This is a little after Heero and Quatre meet, actually taking place right after they land on Earth. *gasp* How specific! I’m shocked at myself!

It was getting dark by the time that Quatre calmed down. He had managed to run off most of his guilt and frustration, and now he lay in the sand beside Heero. His breathing had finally calmed and his eyes were peacefully closed. If Heero hadn’t known better he would have thought that Quatre had dozed off. Only the small pressure of Quatre’s hand on his let Heero that Quatre was still aware of what was going on around him.

“Heero, ”Quatre stirred at last and moved a little closer to Heero, “I’m cold.”

Heero nodded and let Quatre press up against his side. Heero understood that this had nothing to do with the weather, and not just because the air was hot and heavy on his skin. He understood that Quatre needed touch for reassurance, and even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to be the one comforting Quatre, he was the only one who could help the emotional pilot right now.

It hadn’t taken Heero long to figure out Quatre’s need for touch when Quatre had been trying to help him with his injuries. Quatre had kept contact with him almost constantly, not because he needed it, but because he thought it would help Heero. He was constantly trying to show Heero that he was being looked after.

Heero hadn’t liked it at first, but he hadn’t known how to protest. He had stubbornly tried to make the best of it. Heero almost smiled remembering how he had mentally added up the pros and cons of Quatre’s constant attention.

Eventually he had even come to enjoy the way that Quatre held him, about the same time that he had realized that Quatre was burying his own pain in order to put Heero’s needs before his own. Now it was Quatre’s turn, and Heero actually felt ready and able to care for him. Heero couldn’t remember ever wanting to look after another person like this.

“Is this better?” Heero slipped his arms around Quatre. He managed not to hesitate, but to hold Quatre firmly. It didn’t matter how he felt about Quatre, or how he felt about touching another person. It was his turn to look after Quatre as well as he could.

“I’m fine,” Quatre pressed his cheek against Heero’s shoulder, and Heero felt him smile, “I should be happy.”

Heero thought for a moment, then urged Quatre on, “why?”

“You’re alive,” Quatre said simply, “I never would have been able to meet you.” His hands clenched in Heero’s shirt, “you would have been like everyone else who I. . .”

“But I’m here,” Heero reminded him. He didn’t know what else to say.

“I know. I’m so glad,” Quatre managed to sound even more miserable. Heero didn’t know what he was supposed to say, so he let Quatre get around to explaining himself in his own time.

“I keep thinking how I like being with you, but how could I choose you over Trowa? How could I choose. . . ?”

Heero almost pointed out that if Quatre had a choice then Trowa would probably be the one lying with him right now. Somehow, though, he knew that saying that would upset Quatre even more.

“It wasn’t your choice to make,” Heero offered. He felt impossibly awkward trying to console Quatre.

Quatre nodded, trying to accept Heero’s help. He wasn’t crying yet, but the effort of holding his tears back was miking him shake. Heero knew from experience that he did not want to see Quatre cry.

“Quatre,” Heero started, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to say to calm the trembling boy in his arms. This was all too new to him.

“How could I?” Quatre gasped.

“I don’t know,” Heero admitted. He didn’t want Quatre to get any more hysterical that he already was. He rubbed Quatre’s back, trying to think. There had to be some way he could calm Quatre down.

Just the rubbing seemed to have a calming effect on Quatre. He was slowly going limp on top of Heero, and his shaking soon calmed to a tiny shudder every so often.

“You must think I’m pathetic,” Quatre murmured against Heero’s shoulder.

“No,” Heero said quickly. He didn’t want to consider that. This wasn’t about what he thought. This was about what Quatre needed.

“Thank you,” Quatre sounded a bit surprised by Heero’s response. He snuggled against Heero a little. “Can I stay here?” he asked shyly, “just for a little while?”

Heero knew that he should answer no. This was leading somewhere dangerous. Heero had known for quite some time about his personal preference for the company of other men, and he was sure that Quatre’s request was completely free of any intended innuendo. He would be taking advantage of Quatre instead of distancing his emotions as he had intended to do.

Heero honestly meant to tell Quatre he shouldn’t stay, but what came out instead was, “stay as long as you need to.”

Quatre’s content little sigh made it all worthwhile. Heero hugged him a little closer, much happier about the arrangement than he should have been.

After a short pause, Quatre spoke up again. “Do you want to hear something terrible?” he asked Heero quietly, before pressing on without waiting for an answer, “part of why I’m so glad that you’re alive,” he paused guiltily, “is that I can do this.”

Heero stared up into Quatre’s eyes. He couldn’t move. He must be going insane, because it honestly felt like Quatre was kissing him. Quatre couldn’t be kissing him.

Soft, dry lips deserted his as Quatre sat up. Heero tried to pull himself back together. If he swept Quatre up in his arms right now and kissed him back would he be getting involved in a way he had told himself that he wouldn’t? Heero discovered that he didn’t really care.

“I’m sorry,” Quatre was saying softly, mistaking Heero’s surprise for something else, “I didn’t mean to make you so angry. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Was that your first kiss?” Heero tugged on Quatre’s arm to make him lay back down.

“That’s none of your business,” Quatre shot at him. He managed not to blush, but he wasn’t looking very haughty either.

“I think it is my business,” Heero responded, trying to copy the seductive tones he had heard others use, “if I get to give you a little instruction.”

Though Heero knew he was much better at expressing himself with actions than words, he was proud of the blush that he had managed to provoke from Quatre.

“I think I need a little instruction,” Quatre admitted softly, trying to stay in the vein that Heero had started, “if you’re willing to teach me.”

Heero couldn’t help being surprised by that. He had gone through this more times than he liked to count, but he had never had someone just hand control over to him like that. Now that Heero thought about it there was some sense in Quatre’s decision. He probably had more experience than Quatre, and he was sure he was stronger than Quatre. Heero just couldn’t remember ever being in control at all.

It was odd kissing someone his own age. It was even stranger how easy it was for him to kiss Quatre gently. Maybe because he was used to pretending to be naive.

Quatre pulled back, panting for breath. Heero almost tried to force him down so he could keep kissing him, but stopped himself just in time. He had thought he was taking it slow with Quatre, but it seemed he would have to be more carful.

“Heero,” Quatre lay down beside him on the sand, “have you done this before?” He trailed off, looking a little guilty and quickly added, “you don’t have to answer.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” was the only answer Heero was willing to give. He got up so that he could lie down on top of Quatre. It wasn’t that his memories were particularly painful or complicated, just that he didn’t think he could keep Quatre from seeing them that way.

It was simple, Heero thought to himself as he kissed Quatre again, he had been taught to do anything to act out a mission. Obviously, this fell under the definition of anything. And seducing Quatre? Well, he could think of a hundred excuses for that, from comfort, to practice to the simple fact that he could consider this moment, with no hope of further orders, as his day off.

Only what he was doing right now, holding Quatre close and slowly coaxing him to kiss back, felt nothing like the things he had done before. He found himself actually enjoying it.

“Wait,” Quatre begged quietly, “Heero.”

Heero sat up, watching Quatre. He didn’t want to wait. He would do it for Quatre’s sake but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it.

“You don’t have to go so fast.” Quatre sat up and pulled his legs out from under Heero. “We have time.”

“Do we?” Heero had found himself repeating the last words he would have expected to remember while talking to Quatre, “let me hold you now, because tomorrow we could both be dead.” Heero had thought it was an idiotic thing to say at the time, especially because he had made sure the speaker was dead before the night was over, but the words had come out without a thought.

“Don’t say things like that,” Quatre begged, wrapping his arms around Heero’s shoulders.

“I won’t then.” Considering what they had just been talking about, death was the wrong subject to use to make a point with Quatre.

“Just hold me?” Quatre requested. Heero pulled Quatre into his arms. He was glad to feel Quatre’s arms wrap around him in response. For the first time in weeks Heero was content to be still. He hugged Quatre tight in his arms as the tide slowly rolled in.


End file.
